22 Going on 13

For those of you who don't know, I love to perform. Growing up I did all sorts of shows-- musical revues, jazz festivals, plays, musicals... And then I got to college and decided not to pursue any of that. Instead, I majored in public relations and my passion soon fell victim to the closet. 

Well this past weekend, my love for performance came OUT of the closet when I auditioned for the new Broadway musical, 13. 

I found out about the audition through Red Mountain Theatre Company, here in Birmingham. It was an open casting call in search of talented triple threats (singer/dancer/actor.) The musical is about troubled middle schoolers looking for 'cool' but kind of figuring out that 'cool' is what you make of it. Anywho, the characters are between the ages of 13 and 17; however, the real Broadway cast had actors in their early twenties. 

Now you understand why I went out for the audition... but now I'll tell you what I learned in the audition:

Clearly, this audition was not intended for people my age. I found myself amongst a crowd of true middle and early high schoolers. Maybe they just look young I thought. But the second I heard metal mouths say, "Wanna sleepover after this?" and "My mom won't let me on Facebook until I'm 14" and "Dad, can you pick me up?" I started to realize what I had gotten myself into. 

Needless to say, my nerves for singing and dancing in front of children left me. I felt silly auditioning, but I had strapped on my converses and bought sheet music, so I figured I could at least practice for musicals I could pick on my own size.

So I danced, got whacked in the eye by some over-zealous red head, waited in line... constantly asking myself, should I leave now? this is dumb. Constantly thinking, ok well maybe there are some people my age, I just haven't figured out who... 'crack!' goes some guys voice. nevermind. I was certain he had to be at least a college freshman! (at least puberty allowed him to grow physically.) At this point I found myself on stage where the director asked me, "Carly Jayne... where are you from?" "Virginia," I said. "How'd you get down here?" "Well, I went to school down here." "How old are you???" he asked. Somewhat embarrassed in front on my new 14-year-old BFFs I whispered, "I'm 22." 

And in his director like ways he shooed me on to sing my musical piece. I sang Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid which I now laugh at because, under the sea, I think my 22-year-old self was wishing my chest was even flatter than it already is, praying that my hips weren't yet developed, wanting to have braces, and that I was going home that night to get on my Clueless phone and call my 6th grade crush Daniel Powers who I was sure was impressed by my new water bra. I was almost wishing I was part of their complicated middle school world trying to be cool and make it to the popular table at lunch. Instead, I had to wonder if the director thought I was some sort of pedophile wanting to creepily ask, 'want some caaaandy, little boy?!' 

Needless to say, that audition was just not intended for people above the age of 16, at least not the one at Red Mountain Theatre Company. At the very least, I had a great time re-visiting my adolescence, got a kick-ass dance workout, and got my performance fix for the year. Plus, I realized half-way through this experience, Carly! Do you really want to hang out with a bunch of kiddos at rehearsal every night? And while I may, and should not, get a role, I got a glimpse into what it is like to be 13, all over again. If I am remembering my 13-year-old self correctly, these auditions were a HUGE deal and if some early twenty-something came in and took my part, I'd be really, really upset. 

So, enjoy the show and all that comes with it, little middle school friends. And enjoy being thirteen. LYLAS! TTYL!

E-mails Gone Wild

E-mail is an incredible service. It's free, it's convenient, it's fast and it's easy. Let me say that again: It's EASY. With just one click of a button your message is instantly sent and delivered into another's inbox. Ok, enough with the salesman pitch. It hardly needs selling. 

What's between the lines:

With that same one click, you can make a HUGE mistake. E-mails know no limits. They are reliable, because they do their job every time. E-mails have no emotions or give second chances. They don't say to you: "What you are about to send could potentially damage someone" or "Woah! Do you really mean to send that to your boss?" or "AHH! Wrong document attached!" It is up to us, as e-mail users and abusers, to exercise major caution when composing and sending messages. We are so comfortable with e-mail we could practically do it with our eyes closed, when really our eyes should be WIDE open so we can realize just what we are doing.

In the past week I have made two e-mail uh-ohs. Fortunately, there was no harm done—only a small wave of worry and a 'this is gonna be a pain in the ass to explain to my entire address book.'

The first that occurred was a classic reply-all mistake. I ended up writing back two co-workers and the client saying "I'm so excited! This will be so cool." (not a big deal, right, but only because I didn't say anything negative... and would never through e-mail!) Nevertheless, lesson learned: I will probably never use the reply-all button again, at least for a little while.

The second uh-oh ocurred when I was testing the 'automated reply' for the purpose of setting it up for another a co-worker. First, it didn't work on her computer, so I tried it on mine. I wrote a simple 'Out to lunch. Be back at 1:30' and was sure I had it right. NOPE! What ended up happening is that hundreds, I mean HUNDREDS of e-mails were sent out to every single person that had ever e-mailed my work e-mail. Just to show you how ridiculous the situation was, I ended up replying to 90 of my boss' e-mails saying that damn 'Out to lunch... be back at 1:30' reply. FML. 

Of course it was an honest mistake, but an unfortunate one. No harm done, just a huge pain in the ass to my poor co-workers and a few clients. I will say that a few of the responses I got back were somewhat humorous.

"Um, is there a reason you are telling me you're going to lunch?"- A photographer.

"I'm guessing that was supposed to be to someone else, but have fun!"- The bartender we used at our party.

"Do you realize you just sent me a dozen e-mails??"- A dentist client.

"Was that supposed to go to me? I hope so!"- Some PR dude. Sorry, buddy.

The fiasco is all said and done... thank God. And I do apologize to everyone who got my trial auto-reply. I know you all are thinking I am truly "out to lunch" in more ways than one.

Back to e-mails in general. I share these stories, because they were lessons learned for me and I can only hope they will serve as warning to other folks to BE CAREFUL! Watch your words and watch who you're e-mailing. 

A few tips that have been said and can't be said enough:

1.  Keep your work e-mail separate from your personal e-mail.

2.  Whatever you compose in the e-mail body, write as if your boss is looking over your shoulder. Not that you have to wear a bracelet inscribed with "What Would Bossman Do?" but just think... would you want him to see this?

3.  Scan over the e-mail before you send it--- who is it going to? This is especially important with forwards.

4.  Know how to do an 'automated reply' (and let me know once you've figured it out.)

5.  Limit how many internal e-mails are not work related--- As in, don't bombard your co-workers with stupid You Tube videos. 

6.  Expect the worse--- How bad would it be if a virus came through and started forwarding all your internal e-mails?? AHHHHHH!!

7.  NEVER EVER say anything negative about a client or co-worker. Be professional people.

Happy e-mailing.

Pet Koala for Sale

I have truly been TICKLED all day, and it's because of this Craig's List listing. My favorite response to this so far was from my friend, Mandy's sister who said, 'I laughed so hard I peed a little.' I just know if I weren't at my office desk, I'd pee...A LOT.

Enjoy.

I have a three year old Koala Bear named GumNut, that I'm desperately trying to find a new home for. I bought him back in January figuring it would be an awesome pet that would enjoy living in my greenhouse, sadly I was wrong. I paid $3200 for him back in January and I'am not sure what the used Koala Bear market is like in a good economy or the one we have now; so I'am open to offers. Please use some common sense before contacting me, don't be an idiot, I'am not interested in trading my Koala Bear for your busted up 1980's Camero, pictures of your naked wife, or an offer to paint my garage door.

 

The Good

*He is somewhat housebroken, uses a cat box most of the time.

*For the most part he is very quite; this also falls into the bad category which we will touch on in a moment.

*He eats spiders, (not kidding) we haven't had a spider in our house since we got him.

*Hates watching Desperate Housewives, used to be my wifes favorite show until GumNut bit her for changing the channel from Jeopardy, to Desperate Housewives.

*Gets along well with one of my two dogs.

*Loves to go for car rides.

 

Now for the Bad:

*He eats a lot of eucalyptus, which is not as cheap as I expected.

*Apparently eucalyptus is like a drug for Koala Bears, when GumNut is coming down from his high he becomes very violent and aggressive.

*He raped and killed my wife's cat "Miss. Kitty'" (Honestly, I wanted to put this in the good section because I've been trying to find a way to get that worthless cat out of our house for two years, thanks GumNut.)

*He does not like Asian's, I have no idea where this Koala was raised but someone of Asian Decent must have really mistreated him.

*Loves Vin Diesel movies, not sure why, he just does.

*Has extremely sharp claws and teeth which he uses often.

*Loves shiny objects, steals and hides them frequently in my dog's ass.

*He is quite, and as a result has snuck in on my wife and I during intimate moments. I mind him watching; maybe it won't bother you as much.

* GumNut smells terrible and is not easy to wash. I had to hold a gas soaked rag over his mouth till he blacked out to get him in this tub for a bath.

*Once he is in the water he is fine, getting him into the water is a challenge, he will scratch you, he will bite you, and you will bleed.

Three Years and Counting

On Friday, October 2, my work hosted its third anniversary party. It was a blast. Great food and drink. Wonderful people.

The days leading up to the party were slammed. We were busy building an e-mail campaign, pitching to clients, traveling to meet with clients, doing photo shoots, and creating new designs. There was hardly time for party planning. But as Paul put it, “The party is a tradition every year, but scrambling to make it happen has become a tradition, too.” With that mindset, we made it happen.

We got everything set up in time, including all beverages and food, on top of all party decorations. The office truly looked its best with featured projects we’ve done, flowers, candles and damn clean desks. Our trusty e-vite RSVP list failed to mention that ‘66 confirmed guests’ translates to about 90 guests. Needless to say, all the food was devoured in the first couple of hours.

Though we were slightly off in our numbers, it hardly took being with Scout last year to know that this was our biggest and most successful party yet. It was a ton of fun. Other hits of the night included tables set up outside, a bartender to help feed our thirsty attendees, new artwork, noteworthy attire, and an About Town photographer. You couldn’t help but want to stay a good while. We had one guest who intended to stay ‘just 10 minutes’ and ended up staying the entire night. Gotta love that. I know all of us at Scout enjoyed the conversations with clients, friends and family, and we finally found time to take our first group shot together. Pretty good lookin’ crew, if I do say so myself.

We are already looking forward to next year’s fourth anniversary party and having everyone, and their brother, back again.